All About Turkey...

JOE: I got a turkey for $10, and these bananas were only 33 cents a pound!
KATIE: I don't think I'd trust a turkey for $10.
JOE: It's a Butterball. I talked to the turkey. He seems like a good guy.
JAMES: I wouldn't trust a turkey that he talked to...

CHRIS: So, are you enjoying the potassium?
JOE: I feel like an "ooo ooo ah ah" monkey!

JOE: 'Interview with a turkey - So I'm going to be cooking you. What can my family expect from your meat?' ... so I did talk to it, it just never answered back... but it did look like it was smiling the whole time though...

JOE: I don't know... I've never seen a turkey in a soap opera... so maybe if they want more drama, they should hire turkeys...
CHRIS: The Young and the Breastless
JAMES: Maybe The Young and the Boneless... tone it down a bit.
CHRIS: Days of Our Gizzards
JOE: All My Chicken Breasts
JAMES: General Slaughterhouse
CHRIS: The Bold and the Broasted

Who's Your Daddy?

JOE: James is our daddy! He's sitting at the head of the table.
JAMES: I've never heard that before...
JOE: That's alright, you might actually be a dad someday.
KATIE: Yeah, but not yours...
JOE: I can hope!!

JAMES: I had pulled pork for lunch on Monday, and that was a mistake.
JOE: I had lima beans once, and that was a mistake.

JOE: Daddy, can we eat cookies?
JAMES: No.
JOE: You're a bad daddy!
JAMES: You must give them all to me!!! I'm your cookie daddy!!!
...
CRISSY: Did you jsut say you're his cookie daddy? Isn't that the same as a sugar daddy?
JAMES: Only more... because cookies are sooo much more than just sugar!

Broads

CHRIS: Yeah, if I were you, I wouldn't be so self-selecting. I'd keep my options as broad as possible.
JOE: Oh, there's some broads alright!!

JOE: I have a friend with a lap.

Joe's Trip to Chicago

JOE: So she said, "I'm ok with you putting your head in my lap." So I go digging around for it... ... and one of the times I was down there, she got startled and jolted, and I kind of got shoved to the side and the car went out of gear.

Explanation: Joe went to Chicago this past weekend, and on the ride back, he was riding in a car with 2 girls - one, a friend of his (who was driving), and her roommate (who was in the backseat - and is from Mexico and doesn't speak a ton of English). The one who was driving wanted to listen to a CD that was apparently underneath the driver seat. Unable to reach it herself, she had Joe try to get it. Meanwhile, the girl in the backseat decides to take pictures of Joe with his head in the driver's lap. A guy in a car passing them was looking over at them, so Joe lifted his head up, looked at the guy, and then went right back to what he was doing (which I'm sure you can imagine what that looked like...).