Annie, Chuck, and Andy's Birthday Outing

JOE: No! It wasn't anything bad... we didn't sin or anything...

JOE: Woah, Greg... you're in my safety bubble. Get out!!

JOE: Chuck had a truck, that got bucked by a duck. Then it was fucked, so it clucked as it chucked a puck, which sucked.

JOE: Ken Kaid can suck my balls.
(note: Ken Kaid is Joe's insurance agent.)

JOE: She blows really good!

KATIE: You weren't supposed to move.
JOE: Well, he was flicking my pimples!
(note: someone was flicking his nipples, not pimples)

Honorary Joe Quote
KATIE: So I hear you guys like to marinade your meat together...
BRIAN: You better believe it!!!!!

Another Lunch at Work...

Note: I wrote these down while at work a while back, so the date at the bottom is probably not accurate...

KATIE: Joe, you're done!
JOE: Yep, I'm done... meaning that I've reached 165 degrees for 5 seconds... ... ... that's how you cook ground beef if you want it medium well... ... [Katie stares]... ... what? You don't have to grind me up before you cook me!

KATIE: He was over a foot taller than me.
JOE: That would be to your advantage.
KATIE: Explain to me Joe, how exactly would that be to my advantage?
JOE: Well, no... I guess it would be to his advantage... depending on whether you prefer to look up or down...