Lobster Costumes

JOE: Mmmhmm... Baby, she's got it... mmmhmm...

JOE: It's amazing how versatile the female body is...

JOE: Well, I've got it now... let me know when you're ready, baby!
KATIE: I don't know that I'll ever be ready for that...
(to see the Big Boy music video)

KATIE: Sometimes you do things you don't intend to do.
JOE: Yeah, there was this girl last weekend...

JOE: You're going to be red in two weeks?
CHRIS: If I have anything to do with it...
JOE: You could just get really sunburned, and then you'd be red the whole time.
JAMES: That sounds like a plan.
KATIE: Or you could get married wearing lobster costumes...
JAMES: An even better plan!

JOE: I think James is a LOT more interesting... he has a lot more facial hair than I do... I have to go to the bathroom now...

Cupcakes

CHRIS: Did you make them for any special occasion? (Joe brought in cupcakes)
JOE: Oh, yeah... I'm pregnant.

JOE: Make a move, James... Pick your cupcake!!!

CHRIS: Even if he weren't engaged, it would be awkward because she's the younger sister of his ex-boyfriend... ("he" being James)

JOE: I guess I can eat another cupcake... It's all Crissy's fault.
KATIE: Because she impregnated you?

JOE: I want to be closer to you... can I see your birthing video?

What Joe wants in a woman...

JOE: She's 20... she's studying nursing... and her brother just died. It's perfect!
(Joe's thoughts on the girl he met through hotornot.com that is currently studying in Japan)