Joe wants to be knocked up...

CHRIS: Maybe you don't want to be a missionary... you want to be a nun.
CRISSY: Nuns can't get knocked up...
JOE: Oh yes they can!!!!!

JOE: Gosh I'm hot now! I'm having a flash in my brain or somethin'!
JAMES: Apparently I make Joe hot!
CHRIS: Or he's going through menopause...
JOE: James, you make me go through menopause.
CHRIS: You know if you go through menopause, you can't get knocked up!

JOE: I had my mouth attached. If I could have spit out, I would have...

JOE: I don't know why it's making that noise... Oh wait, yeah I do! I'm not squeezing...

JOE: Ohhhh.... you got gum!!!!!

JOE: Man, there's still 6 tic marks...
KATIE: What, did you think they would disappear as you drink more?
JOE: Well, it's a Gatorade bottle... it reminds me of oatmeal...

JOE: I almost put it in my lap...
KATIE: What, don't have room for more than 54 inches?
JOE: Do you know how much 54 inch underwear costs???

CHRIS: You know, this will bring you back to the site of the 54 inches...
JOE: Yeah, so I gotta bring the right girl... maybe that should be a honeymoon destination.

JAMES: Hair!
JOE: Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Nerd Speak

JOE: Let's go skipping through wildflowers...

JOE: Well I used the "L word" with her... maybe I need to be more careful with that word.
CHRIS: Because you know what Katie does to people who say "I love you" too early...
JAMES: Makes out with them?
JOE: Well, maybe I should have said it to you earlier then...

JOE: I caught the bouquet once... and then I went to go hide in the closet.

JOE: You should see my Dance API, oh my gosh!!!

JAMES/CHRIS: Joe.upTime(); ?
JOE: 25 years... that's all I know.
JAMES: I want it down to the millisecond...
JOE: You do that, and I'll throw the fuckYouException!

JOE: Are you a fan of hooters?
KATIE: *blank stare*
JOE: I like them big boys!!