Joe wants to be knocked up...

CHRIS: Maybe you don't want to be a missionary... you want to be a nun.
CRISSY: Nuns can't get knocked up...
JOE: Oh yes they can!!!!!

JOE: Gosh I'm hot now! I'm having a flash in my brain or somethin'!
JAMES: Apparently I make Joe hot!
CHRIS: Or he's going through menopause...
JOE: James, you make me go through menopause.
CHRIS: You know if you go through menopause, you can't get knocked up!

JOE: I had my mouth attached. If I could have spit out, I would have...

JOE: I don't know why it's making that noise... Oh wait, yeah I do! I'm not squeezing...

JOE: Ohhhh.... you got gum!!!!!

JOE: Man, there's still 6 tic marks...
KATIE: What, did you think they would disappear as you drink more?
JOE: Well, it's a Gatorade bottle... it reminds me of oatmeal...

JOE: I almost put it in my lap...
KATIE: What, don't have room for more than 54 inches?
JOE: Do you know how much 54 inch underwear costs???

CHRIS: You know, this will bring you back to the site of the 54 inches...
JOE: Yeah, so I gotta bring the right girl... maybe that should be a honeymoon destination.

JAMES: Hair!
JOE: Hair today, gone tomorrow!